Screams and Silence

Sometimes silence is so loud

The water running as I wash my face

And brush my teeth

The opening and closing of a jar

It is strange to think

That I am the only thing

Making and breaking

The silence.

That is lonely

I rarely feel loneliness

But as I get older

I feel it and fear it

More and more.

When the letters and parcels

Stop arriving

What will I do?

Will I really, finally be

Alone.

How will I manage?

Will I go mad?

Will I wish I had grasped

For anyone

A thing that could end

My silence.

Then I hear children

Screaming outside

At first

I hate the noise

And then

I run after it

Come back!

You were the screams of my childhood

Adults can’t scream

We’ve grown past it

But I miss it

We could scream because we were children

We screamed with delight

At silly games

And pretend terrors

Finally, we sit in silence

Surrounded by chores and debt,

Hours from a friend.